What kind of Mother do I want to be?

was reading the recommended baby book, Babywise and I have to say it made me think a lot. It made me wonder what kind of Mother do I want to be? First of all I found it was rather against everything I always was for, co-sleeping, nursing on demand etc. I finished reading and thought on it for a few days and here is my conclusion.

Maybe it's not popular nowadays to rock your baby until she is asleep before putting her to bed,
but I want to.
Maybe co-sleeping and nursing on demand isn't the "wise" thing to do
but I'm for it.

Maybe doing these things makes your child less independent but you know what? I was a very dependent child and I became a very dependent woman so I don't think it will harm her in any way. I'm OK with my child not being "independent" I need her and I'm OK with her needing us for awhile.

I've waited 12 years to have a baby in my arms and I don't care if she can put herself to sleep or not, I'm here and have arms ready to hold and a glider that rocks beautifully. I waited 12 years to rock a baby.

I can see that the book would be useful if I had twins or maybe for a second child. But right now I want to savor every second. I want to be with her every minute, seriously I hate being without her. The longest I've gone is to the store for 20 mins while Grant is with her at home, I've waited a long time to be a mom and I'm soaking in the moments.

That being said, she falls asleep on her own with no fuss in her car seat when we're driving. she goes back to sleep on her own when I put her back in her bed in the middle of the night.

Naps and going down at night though, those are my times.

Time to cuddle and rock my baby, to breathe in her sweet baby smell and fear the fact that she's growing so fast and one day soon I won't be able to rock her to sleep.

But I can right now and I love it.